Hey Disrupters!  Pulitzer Prize Winner Mary Oliver said “Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.” Now, I can totally wrap my mind around this concept but, I’m going to be totally real, right now.  I don’t know how you feel about it but for me, darkness can be scary! When I think about a metaphorical box full of darkness, I reflect on how too many times, I’ve carried around things in that box that I did not even want to open, let alone rummage around in.  Scary things.  Unknown things.

What’s In Your Box?

And what about OPI – Other People’s Ish?  I’ve probably carried things around in my box that perhaps didn’t even belong to me, situations or opinions as a result of other people pushing their situations onto me.

What we carry around in our boxes affects every part of your life. Unresolved issues affect and change everything in your Arena, my Self, my Heart, my Consciousness, intentionally or not. Things get knocked over, they spill over.  Things fall out and maybe even start to smell.

This stuff, this cosmic junk takes up space turning your metaphorical box into a junk drawer instead of a vessel that can better be used to store other more pleasant memories.  And another thing, how on earth was I supposed to view this as a gift?

As a Life Coach, I work with my Clients to confront these situations and the experiences that are associated with these so that we can start to let go of attachments to these situations.  To confront these, you have to call it what it is. Uncover its truth, whatever it is.

So… just a quick question:  What’s in your box?  As you begin your journey towards uncovering the authentic you, are there things that need to be removed and aired out? Have you been carrying around somebody else’s stuff in your box, Things that should be removed in general, things that you’ve discovered should not be in your box?

Truth work in DisruptU:  So, if you can, take out a piece of paper. Write down the following questions, and then answer them to the best of your ability.  You may not know all of the answers right now, but you are capable of finding your solution

We’re going to open the box and take a little inventory as you ease your way into opening this box and checking out the contents.

First question – Who’s box is this? Is it your box? Remember earlier we were talking about how too often we find our boxes to be filled to the brim with other people’s stuff.  It could be that you are carrying around other people’s stuff, maybe out of guilt or some sense of responsibility. You know the stuff, maybe it’s your sister’s stuff, or maybe your best friend’s cousin’s uncle’s stuff, things that do not concern you but because it belongs to someone close to you, is allowed into your box and it has splashed over into your life.

Next, watch the expiration dates on the things in your box. Things that I’d put away and never ever wanted to look at again let alone view it as a gift.  Half-done things.  Never attempted things.  Things that we will never ever use again become outdated.  Things that belong to other people.  Or things that just aren’t that important anymore.  Ideas, attitudes, behaviors.  It’s OK, let it go.  Don’t be afraid to throw these things out, they no longer work for you. Throw them out.

It is OK to refuse a deposit into your box.

Lastly, remember that it is OK to refuse a deposit into your box.  There is an old story about a man who, knowing the reputation of the Buddha, traveled many miles to test the wisdom of Buddha.  Upon his arrival he began to verbally abuse and insult Buddha, doing everything he could to challenge and offend him, growing angry when nothing seemed to move the Buddha.  Buddha simply turned to the man and asked “May I ask you a question? If someone offers you a gift and you decline to accept it, to whom then does it belong?”  The man answered, “Then it belongs to the person who offered it”.  The wise Buddha smiled and responded by saying, “That is correct.  So, if I decline to accept your abuse does it not then still belong to you?”  The man had nothing to say.

I mention all of this to say that it is OK to refuse a deposit into your box.  It is OK to turn down OPI, Other People’s Ish, all of the drama, all of the nonsense. It’s your box, not a junk drawer. Give yourself a break and lighten your own load.  Refuse the “gift”.  You’ll thank yourself for it later.You have the answers you seek inside of you. You have the solution to any problem inside.  You, Disrupter, are the answer to your questions. As I coach my clients, I remind them that no matter what you are going through, no matter how you came to this point, you have the answers you seek inside, you have the solution to any problem inside.  You, Disrupter, are the answer to your questions. It could be that the answers to your questions lie just inside the box, you see it, right?  There in the corner?  You just have to look for it.

That’s it, the first steps are the hardest but the most important when it comes to shaking up the status quo and beginning your wonderful crazy journey into answering your personal Call to Action in your life. You’re ready.  You are a bold confident warrior in your Arena and you have all that you need inside.  It is my honor to work with you, shoulder to shoulder to uncover the life you’ve only dreamt of before today.

So that’s it for this time, Disrupters!  I cannot wait to meet you here again to explore what it means to be a Disrupter in your Arena.  The Woman on Fire Show and Blog is published every week but check back often.  So, until next time, Bye Bye!

Trudi Lunnie-Thomas, BA, MA is a Certified Life and Executive Coach and Master Disrupter for DisruptU YOUniversity and  Host of the Woman on Fire Radio Show. Her goal is to help her clients to disrupt the patterns established as part of their Status Quo, the habits, and limitations that control every part of their lives so that they can reclaim who they really are and how to live their lives to the fullest.  To continue the conversation, please come over to my blog at www.disruptuyouniversity.com. Thank you and go out and disrupt your Status Quo!